Thursday, January 26, 2012

I get an odd number of compliments on my hair. I'm also surrounded by a slew of handsome gentleman-friends with great hair. So this might take the cake as the most-egomaniacal thing seen on my blog, but oh well. There are some dudes out there who could use the help.

a) Get your hair cut every 3 weeks. Budget for it. If it means you need to find a cheaper stylist, do that. You can even strike a deal with yours to visit twice a month (to keep your hair maintained) and agree on a price for the midway-trim.

b) Only visit a barber if you have a distinct style and know exactly what you want. If you're just a dude without a particular "look", you'll likely get a basic hack job or something that's too stylized, like that standard-issue brush top that only looks good on jacked-up blonde guys in the gay part of town.

c) Man up to your natural hair abilities. If you have thin, wispy hair, learn how to make it work for you. If you're nearly bald, go for it. If your hair is thick and coarse, you're probably going to keep it quite short. For the rest of your life. I'm sorry: No Bieber mops or surfer shags for you, pal. Talk to your stylist. Accept the limits of your hair and choose a style within them.

d) Like shopping for sunglasses, consider your face shape when choosing a haircut. I have a narrow-banana-face, sticky-outy-ears and a strong chin, so I've learned over the years that I look better with more volume on top. It helps balance the proportions of my face. If you've got a big round head, you might think about heading in the opposite direction, keeping things close-cropped to avoid adding extra volume.

d) No colour. None. Your hair should be whatever colour your hair is. And, OMG, do I have to say no perms?

e) Long hair is tricky and should be left to professional pretty boys. Models, surfers, and rakishly-thin guys in bands only. If you're carrying even 10 errant pounds, you can't pull off long hair. I'm sorry.

f) Important: If you are hell-bent on wearing a hat in the wintertime, that's okay, but make the choice to keep your hair nice and short during the colder months. Hat head is a capital crime.

a) The closer to a haircut you get, the less product you should use. If you're 3 days from a trim and your hair has that thick, puffy, rough-around-the-edges look, don't pack all sorts of clumpy wax in there. It'll weigh down your hair and look even less polished. Rule of thumb: If you want your hair to stand up and do something, smacking it with extra product isn't going to help. As your hair grows, dial back on the product and make an appointment with your stylist.

b) Unless you know what you're doing, don't use gel. Gel is not meant to be used the way guys use it. It's meant to be worked into damp hair and blown dry, or, maybe, for men who want a wet look (FIG. 1. - Fancy Boy, right). Like I said, unless you know what you're doing, avoid it.

c) Spend money on hair products. If you want a particular "style", it's going to take some work and some specific products. Ask your stylist what you need or, News Flash: buy what they use on your hair when they do it. I know hair products seem expensive, but for the average short-haired gentleman, one tub of a pricey hair cream will last for months.

d) If you choose to wear a specific style, take the time to do it properly. There's nothing worse than hair cut into a style, but not styled into it. Do your hair, gentlemen, don't just cut it.

a) My hair is not very labour-intensive. Using a narrow black comb (FIG. 3. - below), I organize freshly-showered wet hair into a limp, wet version of the final look. I meticulously arrange my part as, once dry, I'd need to rewash my hair to fix a sloppy one.

b) Learn how to use a blowdryer (FIG. 4. - below). It will take a couple weeks to get the hang of it, but there's a reason women achieve distinct hairstyles that stay in place all day - You literally force it that way using the sweet power of heat and products.

c) Use a medium setting. If you're hairdryer is too hot and too strong, you'll end up drying the outer layers and have lots of damp hair underneath, which will dry on its own and puff up. What was that? Oh, no, men don't do that thing women do where you clip your hair up in sections to dry it evenly. No, we don't do that. (See 1.e., above.)

d) Dry your hair, directing all the sections into the style-of-choice. If you're me, you'll keep your part tidy and ensure hairs don't go rogue and join the wrong side of the tracks. Build volume into the hair on either side of the part with your comb, while drying. (You know, this might've been easier as a video tutorial.)

e) Once my hair is half-dry, I run a small amount (like, less than the end of a pinky) of Kiehl's Creme with Silk Groom (FIG. 2. - below, $25.50) through my hair. This product smooths the hair and moisturizes. A must if you're hitting it with heat on a daily basis. Continue drying.  When my hair is dry, I run three fingers across the tub of Creative Cream Wax (FIG 3. - below, $23.00) rub into my hands and loosely run through my hair. This smoothes down any fried-out dry strands of hair and gives just the slightest bit of structure.

f) Let me be clear: Using the right product and taking 5 minutes to blow it dry means you'll have soft, malleable hair that stays in place. I don't have a helmet of crispy locks. I can run my hands through my hair all day long (and I do) and you should too.

Men: We are in a hair revolution. Now's your chance to have a style, a look. It's your time to get away with using a blow dryer and take a few minutes of Me Time in the bathroom. Don't be shy. Own that shit.


Behave Yourself (January 28, 2008)
Be My Guest (August 1, 2008)


  1. Remember when you were a kid and TV sitcoms that got serious for a hot second (like, Blossom smokes weed, or whatever...) would come with a whole intro like, "And now for a very serious episode of Blossom"? All the pomp and circumstance was to drive home the point that you better sit down and watch this as a family and think about what you're about to see and then process it altogether and then share the message with your friends...

    That's what this blog post is to me. People need to pay attention to the message you've just shared. Hair matters, matters. And not just for the gays. Well done, sir. ;)

  2. I like this. Maybe you should go get your hair cut by someone who isn't drunk now. Maybe you should add that, don't let drunk people cut your hair.

  3. You have just reminded me that, for a woman, I am such a man.

  4. First comment, delurking on a hair post... Beautiful Hair. My brother is a hairdresser and has beautiful hair, my sister works in his salon, and also has beautiful hair. When we're together, I'm constantly reminded that I should buy a brush...maybe even a comb, and possibly work on the part thing. My husband cuts his own hair, using his iphone to take photos of the the back of his head, until he gets the angle just right, and can check that it is perfect. I find his method humourous, however, he always looks beautiful. But, here's my question should the women leave their hair uncoloured (or is this sinful)?

  5. Best. Post. Ever. More men should read it. Seriously!!!

  6. 2b) is so important.
    Especially here in Jordan where all men seem to inhale unhealthy amounts of gel.
    I will forward this to every man I know. Hopefully it makes them understand that care has nothing to do with giving up manliness.

  7. Great post. Thanks for caring.
    Hair is so important.
    Now I'm wondering if my dalliances in hair colour are secretly driving you nuts.

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