Monday, March 7, 2011

Jeff is a lot of things, not the least of which, magnetic.  I'm sure he would never describe himself as such, but he is.  He's confident and tall and laughs big.  He doesn't clown for attention (like I might be known to do) but, instead, just receives it. He's the social lynchpin in the circle, the kind of guy people want to know.  

But when I told him about Ask Jeff, he scoffed, waving it off like I'd suggested he might be good at resolving foreign conflict. "People don't care about me!" he asserted. Now, don't read this as some kind of deep-seated self-esteem issue, but rather more evidence of his total lack of blogosphere comprehension.  Whether he likes it or not, people feel like they know us to varying degrees, and might be curious to know more.  When the questions started coming, he got nervous.  "Oh god!  How the hell am I supposed to answer that?!"  There's more than one reason he doesn't have a blog of his own: he's not big on this kind of communication.  But he did it!  He answered them all!  Enjoy.

Oh, actually, I'll answer the first question, from the shit-disturbing Ryan Marshall of Pacing the Panic Room.  He asks, "How many times a day do you say to Jason: 'OMG, I can't believe you just said that!'"  Almost never.  He's used to me and the crazy things I say.  8 years-in, it's more of a silent eye roll.

Kathleen asks: "How do you feel about the blog in general?  And what's your biggest pet peeve about Jason?"  Jeff: I have a horrible memory, so I love that our life is being documented.  My biggest pet peeve?  That he's constantly on the computer. And my favourite thing about Jason is that he's on the computer constantly, which means he's not bugging me or talking too much. 

Longtime reader, Jory, asks: "What's it like living with your own personal paparazzo?  Do you get veto privileges?"  Jeff: Again, it's great to have our lives covered, but annoying when he wants to get the perfect shot.  I've gotten used to it, but he knows when I make a series of stupid faces, I'm done being photographed.   (JASON'S NOTE: I have hundreds of terrible photos of him which may see the light of day.  He'll regret it then. As for veto privileges: I self-veto.  Frankly, I would never post a bad photo of anyone on my blog.  I have a facade to keep up, afterall, and everyone in my life is handsome and beautiful.  Handsome and beautiful!)

Anna: "Do you read all Jason's entries?" Jeff: I do read them all, eventually.  I'm a skimmer. (JASON'S NOTE: Thankfully this wasn't the first I'd heard this.  Though I do notice his attention lingers a little longer when there's mention of him. Typical.)

Stephanie: If Jason were gone for a month, what would you miss most?  Both practically, and on a more personal level." Jeff: Dinner.  And I'd miss him sleeping in the bed.  Because I can't really sleep when he's not there.  So that's sort of practical and  (what I think you're looking for) cheesy."   (JASON'S NOTE: And selfish!)

My dear friend Kris Knight: "What's your favourite of all Jason's lesbian music?"  Jeff: This is my favourite question!  And I've thought long and hard about it, because there are so many to choose from.  I'd have to say Aimee Mann.  (JASON CLARIFIES THE QUESTION BECAUSE HE KNOWS HOW MUCH AIMEE MAN ENRAGES JEFF SO HE MUST BE CONFUSED) Oh wait.  You mean who do I actually like??  I thought you meant who I hated.  Oh shit, I don't know.  I hate it all so much!   . . . . . . I'm changing the question.  Which lesbian music do I hate the most:  Aimee Mann.

Annika: "Which cities/countries/continents would you like to visit?   And also, what makes a good relationship last long? Jeff: Bali.  Australia.  All of South America. Every country.  Wait, are they countries down there?  Jason: Yes! Jesus! I'm writing that you said that.  You are so dumb. Jeff: "Fiji. Singapore.  Laos.  Is Laos in Taiwan?  Wait.  Before I go anywhere, I'd like to study geography.  Oh and Berlin!  (JASON'S NOTE: He didn't know that Annika is from Berlin!  Happy accident.)  And the relationship part?  Finding the grey areas.  Compromise.

Beth: "How long does it take you to grow in your beard?" Jeff: 10 days?  I dunno.  I've had the scruff a couple of years now. My niece calls them my hairy cheeks.  Little does she know . . .

Lauren: "What would you say are the biggest personality differences between you and Jason?  And what's your favourite dessert?" Jeff: To quote RuPaul, Jason's 'really an introvert masquerading as an extrovert.' While I'm just an extrovert. Dessert? I don't really like dessert, but Jason's BBQ peaches are my favourite. (JASON'S NOTE: Awwww.  Recipe here.)

My lovely friend Tara of Seven Spoons: "Tell us something about Jason you think we'd be surprised to hear.  Also, what's your biggest indulgence/pet vanity?  Number three: Is there a city/town/country you've always wanted to live?  What's your favourite host gift to give/receive?  Do you think flowers and wine are passé?  Oh! And one more: Are there trends in fashion you wish would just die already?"  Jeff: Actually, his blog is a pretty good representation.  But he eats a lot more shit than he lets on.  He's not nearly as fancy as he appears. He hates animals - Is that surprising?  My biggest indulgence?  Vacations. Wine.  Dinners out.  I've always wanted to live in New York.  Host gifts: I think that you can't go and buy a bottle of wine unless you know what you're talking about.  Don't buy people Wolfblass, for example.  Get something nicer with a bit of a story.  And no grocery store flowers.  I don't know much about fashion.  But anything Eurotrash freaks me out.  (JASON'S NOTE: I have a lot of opinions on fashion trends.  Mainly: Tights are not pants.)

SP wonders: "What brought you two together? How'd you meet?  What helps keep you together?" Jeff: We met online, actually.  On a site that pre-dates Facebook.  What keeps us together?  Probably wine and psychotherapy.   (JASON'S NOTE: Agreed.)

Rick: "What's it like having such a fabulous friend in Nick?  He seems so charming and nice!"  (JASON'S NOTE: Ha! Nice try, Hooman.)

Melinda: "Do you ever cook for Jason?  What kind of work do you do?" Jeff: I'm the BBQ'er.  So I'm off-duty most of the winter.  I do the same thing as Jason, at a different venue.  We both manage concert halls.  (JASON'S NOTE: Jeff has become an expert meat-master.  Steaks are always a perfect medium-rare.)

Samantha: "What's the best advice Jason's given you?" Jeff: To shave my head. To grow a beard.  Everything I wear. Smooth peanut butter spreads better than crunchy?  Oh, I don't know!  (JASON'S NOTE: We're both racking our brains about advice we've given each other.  At this point it's hard to figure out where original thoughts begin and our collective thoughts end.  8 years means a whole lot of talking about stuff, working through stuff, figuring stuff out.  Together.

(This is a behind-the-scenes photo that lead to this shot you've seen before. August 2003.)

Christine: "Does your food ever get cold waiting for Jason to photograph his latest creation?  What's your all-time favourite travel destination?" Jeff: No, he takes pictures of his own plate.  We, really, haven't been to that many places.  But Cuba ranks pretty high.  It was our first trip together, and it's a pretty incredible place.  Sorry Americans!

Buddy boy Tim Robison at That's Just It Photo: "What 5 things would you need if you were stranded on a deserted island (Don't worry, Jason is there with you.)  Jeff: Matches, so I can have fire.  A water purification system . . .   Jason: Hey! That's not how this game works!  You can't just prepare yourself for it.  Jeff: Oh.  Okay.  Then I don't know!  If I can't take everything I want, I'd just go with nothing!  Corona.  With lime.  Presumably this hell hole is tropical.  (JASON'S NOTE: He's nothing if not practical.)

Tommy: "How would you describe your personal style (or would you even describe it?) Also, what band/artist do you hate (Mine is NIckelback.) Jeff: My personal style?  I dunno, I don't know those words.  I hate Weezer because Rivers Cuomo was an asshole.  I don't like Rufus Wainwright because he slurps when he sings.  And Aimee Mann (of course) sounds like a dying cat.  (JASON'S NOTE: He's preppy.  And he met a lot of major rockstars when he worked at another venue.  He had to pick up strippers for Kid Rock once.  That's a fun story for dinner parties.)

EDIT: Ack!  Mina!  We didn't mean to skip your question!  It took some convincing, for sure.

Thanks for your questions everybody.  This was fun!  Hope you enjoyed it as much as Jeff didn't.


  1. Shit-disturbing? What does that mean?

  2. Loved reading this so much. The Aimee Mann answer? Hilarious.

  3. This is so great! Also, please note, there is an Aimee Mann-centric episode of Portlandia. Jason'll like it because it contains Aimee Mann and Jeff'll like it because they're horrible to her.

  4. I have never been called that my whole life.

  5. Thank you so much for answering Jeff!
    I think it's even more entertaining because of all your notes and interjections.
    And the happy accident is lovely too! Come visit.

  6. Great answers! Wouldn't you know that I've been told I look a lot like Rivers Cuomo, and I happen to LOVE Rufus. :)

  7. I've thrown out my jeggings. Are you happy Mr. tights aren't pants? Great Q & A but I will always wonder why your man drives so damn fast through Stayner.

  8. This was a great all the Q&A...

  9. Wow - I'm returning to the blog after several months in the wilderness and this was a hell of a way to get reacquainted. This thoroughly agreeable entry was more manic and meta than most of your posts, and all the better for it.

    PS - Will you accept an indulgemtly public apology for straying? I'll try to follow more closely in the future.

  10. I loved this on Ryan's blog with Cole. Love it here--especially now that I know you both! Totally different read this time around. I can hear Jeff's answers in Jeff's voice now. I like that.

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