Friday, December 5, 2008

Black, White, and Read All Over

I recently dug up a bunch of high school stuff. Essays and journals, photos, and several editions of our school newspaper. Sandi and I wrote an entertainment column, The Buzz With S & J. It's pretty sassy, as you can probably imagine.

In the memory of my life, I was proud of being the smart kid, but it seems, in dredging up these periodicals, it was all relative. Turns out I went to a school for retarded teen runaways, or some such thing. 99% of the stories in this paper are just atrocious! Among Zagat-inspired summaries of chic eateries (Subway and Wendy's) one person reviewed Nicole Kidman's 1995 sleeper-hit, To Die For. Allow me to illustrate the depth of this critique: "If you like flashbacks, Nicole Kidman, and a good movie, then this one's for you!" I, for one, hate a good movie.

But it was nice to be reminded that Operation Dumbo Drop was the 25th highest grossing film that summer, coming in behind The Bridges of Madison County and Dangerous Minds.

Our column, The Buzz, was a hard-hitting, pull-no-punches breakdown of the month in entertainment news. We were a couple of brassy 10th graders who discussed the birth of little Lourdes Maria Ciccone Leon with ease and we reported on Ellen's historic coming out, proclaiming "It's the 90s and this should be accepted!" On the pop-culture-pulse, we slammed Michael Jackson: "What is it that attracts Debbie Rowe? Is it his rugged good looks, his good nature with children? We have to wonder who will take on breast-feeding duties and how much time MJ will spend next to the crib at night." Shockingly, our staff advisors allowed a couple of 15 year olds to print molestation jokes.

I don't think we knew how good we had it.


  1. Ha, the Mary Hart and John Tesh of 4 page high school newspapers! "As you can see, the hottest actors are going to melt snow this winter!"

    I came across this interesting headline from April 1996:

    "The Net Is Coming To The Road."


  2. I also hate a good movie. hahah, this is the best!

  3. Even a writer in the high school paper! What was your major in college? Photography, right? Did you ever consider writing (I know you said no formal creative writing classes)? I want the story behind the path you chose--at least academically speaking.