Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Mathematics for Life

I like what I like. Ask my Mom, I've always been very clear about my tastes. From clothes to my hair to the way I like my sandwich cut. I've always had a select group of friends, never sure of bringing someone new to the group. As you get older, however, your friends start to branch out, and your group, by proxy, starts to expand. This is particularly interesting when dating begins.

A formula where A = Me, B = My Friend, and C = Their Significant Other:

A Likes B therefore A Likes C

Unfortunately, as we get older, this is not always true. It's a very special thing to like the ones your friends choose to be with. Conversely, it's a horrible thing when you don't.

There's nothing so difficult as reconciling this kind of misstep. For the first 15 - 20 years of your life, your tastes are largely decided by your friends. Like it or not, that's just sort of true. You bind to other people, perhaps because they like what you like. Or, you adjust your tastes to suit them. But, adulthood differs from high school (thank God!) Your tastes and ideas are not solely built around your friends. You grow a pair, and you start to use 'em. And sometimes, especially if you were a follower, you rebel and, at the first opportunity, branch-out: new university friends, a drinking problem, a crazy boyfriend with tattoos, perhaps. The post-high-school years are a time for change.

We've all been there: You and your best high school friends separate on Labour Day and by Thanksgiving you meet the people who replaced you. It's fascinating and devastating all at once. Inevitably some of these people don't jibe, you're confused as to why they don't understand your high school jokes, you can't quite figure out what your friend sees in them. It's hard. Harder still is when you meet the new boyfriend.

Shouldn't my formula be water-tight? If you like me, shouldn't you like the people I like? Sadly, this proves false, time and time again.

All of this stems from a night out with my Brian's boyfriend Chris. I've talked about Brian in previous posts. He's my bestie. He's in Australia until September and his boyfriend is here, alone and lonely. And it makes me very happy that I love him! (Had you nervous, didn't I?) Chris is nice and soft. He's pleasant and quiet, and thoughtful and curious. He listens. And he makes sense for Brian. I am not confused or befuddled. I see them together and I get it. In this most-critical example, my formula works.

1 comment:

  1. too bad he hates you.

    seriously, i love you. chris loves you. australia loves you on my behalf.

    p.s. there is a yoga studio at the pool where i work and one of the instructors is nicole kidman's private yoga coach. sometimes she lets him wear the virginia woolf prosthesis.