Saturday, March 22, 2008

Pot Smoking

T.J. Tasker is a friend and colleague. He is also a guest blogger. See below.

I hate those mornings when I’m forced awake by my alarm. It seems such an uncivilized way to start the day. I much prefer to wake up the natural way, when I’m good and ready. I’m generally an early riser and like to take my time in the morning . . . make breakfast, have a cup of coffee, read a bit of the newspaper, that sort of thing.

To help soften the blow I set my clock to ‘radio’ rather than ‘alarm’ and every morning I'd wake up listening to Metro Morning with Andy Barrie. Andy’s smooth voice and intermittent coughs would lift me out of my slumber, with other folks, all with friendly ‘wake up sleepy head’ voices chiming in with news tidbits and weather. There were days when these voices would drift into my early morning dreams, slowly coaxing me awake.

I remember one morning in particular when I woke to news of a disaster on the 401. It seems a truck full of teapots had overturned and scattered its contents all over the highway! The newscaster, in a very grave tone, told us of the chaos this was causing for the morning commute and, if at all possible, we should avoid this area of the highway.

The smug non-driver part of me chuckled at what a spectacle this must have been. Teapots all over the highway! I had visions of loose pots stacked neatly on shelves in the back of a transport truck heading toward Chinatown to make delivery. There was something I really liked about this vision, something very Disney; every little bump in the road would cause the pots to jump just a little and then return to their neat stacks. Then, out of nowhere, a sharp turn in the road caused the truck to veer a little too quickly one way and, boom, teapots on the highway!

I soon forgot about the mess on the road and got about my day. My sister and I had some errands to run together and as we drove up the DVP I asked if she’d heard about the teapots on the news.

What?!” she said in disbelief. “Yeah, a truck full of teapots turned over on the highway…can you imagine being in a car behind that truck? Teapots coming at you like grenades? Terrifying!” “You’re an idiot!” she laughed, “The truck wasn’t carrying teapots . . . it was a gardening truck full of peat moss!

In that moment, my Disney dream was shattered like millions of teapots on a highway. But boy did we have a good laugh! Since this day, I've avoided hard news before noon.


  1. Lovely!
    I am deaf in one ear and I find that often what I hear is so much more interesting than reality! LOL

  2. Oh my God, TJ. Hilarious. Love it.

  3. I'm impressed that Andy Barrie can wake you up. Most mornings I'm like a corpse that needs to be reanimated.